Apartment living
by Kantwon
Summary: Chapter 9 is up. Hope you enjoy. Also, Snake doesn't like Superman and Raiden makes a good point about him.
1. Default Chapter

A/N: This is my first Metal Gear fic.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own MGS Konami does and Hideo Kojima was the genius who created it.  
  
Apartment living  
  
Chapter1  
  
There was a apartment complex and in one of the three bedroom places there were three people a super soldier, a trained killer, and a super genius.  
  
Otacon: Snake and Raiden you two need to find jobs so the both of you can pay your part of the rent.  
  
Snake: How come we don't get pay since we're in philanthropy.  
  
Otacon: Because it's nonprofit organization.  
  
Raiden: If I knew that I would of never joined  
  
Snake: Yeah me too.  
  
Otacon: We did tell you that before you joined.  
  
Snake: You said it was nonprofit.  
  
Otacon: It's the same thing.  
  
Raiden: Don't worry we'll find jobs  
  
Otacon: Your watching T.V  
  
Snake: We're looking for commercials that has job offerings.  
  
(Doorbell rings)  
  
Otacon: I'll see who it is  
  
Naomi: Watching T.V I see  
  
Mei-Ling: Hey guys  
  
Snake: Naomi what do want.  
  
Naomi: Otacon said you're having a problem finding a job  
  
Raiden: Otacon is lying we don't need help so bye.  
  
Naomi: Here's today's paper look for a job.  
  
Snake: Why? Me and Raiden are going to be bodyguards.  
  
Naomi: That won't work.  
  
Snake: Yes it will you don't have to be here.  
  
Otacon: Just look through the paper.  
  
Raiden: We don't have one.  
  
Naomi: I just brought one here.  
  
Raiden: Look I don't need to put up with your sarcastic remarks  
  
Naomi: I wasn't making a sarcastic remark.  
  
Raiden: See you just did.  
  
Neighbor: Shut up in there.  
  
Raiden: You shut up pansy.  
  
Snake: That voice sounds familiar.  
  
Otacon: I know that voice from somewhere.  
  
Neighbor2: You know we don't have to hear your conversation.  
  
Raiden: I know I heard that voice before.  
  
Snake: I hope that's not who I think it is.  
  
(doorbell rings)  
  
Snake: Oh no  
  
Otacon: Come in  
  
Liquid: Would you keep it down. Snake!  
  
Snake: Liquid what are you downing here.  
  
Solidus: For the last time shut up I'm trying. Jack!  
  
Raiden: Aw crap.  
  
Liquid: Well what do we have here two of the people I hate the most in the same room. Solidus let's finish them.  
  
Solidus: Good idea  
  
Snake: Alright then come on Raiden let's show them who's better.  
  
30 minutes  
  
Snake: Man that was intense right Raiden  
  
Raiden: Yeah and we protected the T.V we'll be pretty good bodyguards.  
  
Otacon: Since you two was busying fighting I decided to fill applications for y'all.  
  
Mei-Ling: Raiden and Snake you'll both be security guards for the bank.  
  
Snake: But we miss 30 minutes of TV we have to make up for it.  
  
Otacon: You'll be starting tomorrow so tonight you won't be staying up late at laughing at bad puns.  
  
Snake: Awww  
  
A/N: Next chapter see if Snake and Raiden can hold a job.  
  
âE 


	2. The movies

A/N: No comment right now  
  
Apartment living  
  
Chapter2  
  
*-*  
  
Otacon: (yarns) Man I haven't a good night sleep in a ling time.  
  
Raiden: Hey Otacon look at this.  
  
Otacon: Wait a minute Snake, Raiden what are you two doing here both of you was supposed to be at work.  
  
Snake: Look at the news.  
  
Reporter: Someone has robbed the Third bank of Konami.  
  
Naomi: I wonder who could of done it.  
  
Snake: Yeah I wonder who well it looks like we won't be going to work for a week.  
  
Otacon: How are you two going to pay the rent?  
  
Snake: Don't worry we got money.  
  
Otacon: How you two are broke.  
  
Snake: .  
  
Naomi: Well your going to tell us.  
  
Snake: Uh our uh. Veterans check.  
  
Otacon: I never heard of that before.  
  
Raiden: Because you never fought in a war before.  
  
Snake: Who's the smart one know Otacon.  
  
Naomi: Otacon  
  
Snake: No one ask you to talk in fact get out  
  
Raiden: We don't need your smart remarks.  
  
Snake: Yeah get out my big fat door!  
  
Reporter on Television: It seems that the police have found two clues that may helped them find who robbed the bank.  
  
Snake: You know lets go to the park or visit the colonial.  
  
Raiden: Yeah lets go Otacon.  
  
Otacon: Wait this might be important.  
  
Snake: Not its not its just the news.  
  
[At the movies]  
  
Naomi: Its nice that you're actually treating us to a free movie.  
  
Snake: Well nothing says thank you like a trip to the movies.  
  
Raiden: Snake so you have your gun with you now.  
  
Snake: Yep 24/7  
  
Raiden: Good look who's here?  
  
Snake: Damn it what's he doing here.  
  
Liquid: Well what a surprise Snake.  
  
Solidus: What are doing Liquid you know this lace is run by the Patriots.  
  
Liquid: Will you shut up about those damn Patriots that's all you talk about.  
  
Snake: I'm not in the mood of fighting right now.  
  
Liquid: Me neither.  
  
Everyone else: (gasps)  
  
Snake: What we're not.  
  
Liquid: I challenge you later Snake. (leaves)  
  
Naomi: Wow I'm surprised you solved that without fighting.  
  
Snake: What do you want to see?  
  
Raiden: Comedy  
  
Mei-Ling: Romance  
  
Grey Fox: Fire  
  
Otacon: Science  
  
Naomi: Action  
  
Snake: (thinking) Hmmm choosing a movie going to be hard I know the perfect movie.  
  
*-*  
  
A/N: What is the perfect movie Snake's thinking find out in the next chapter. 


	3. Laundry problems

A/N: Sorry I've been gone for some time I started high school and I got a lot of work. I hope you like the chapter.  
  
Apartment Living  
  
Chapter3  
  
*-*  
  
Raiden: Comedy  
  
Mei-Ling: Romance  
  
Grey Fox: Fire  
  
Otacon: Science  
  
Naomi: Action  
  
Colonial: War movie  
  
Snake: Colonial why are you here?  
  
Colonial: To watch a movie with all of you. Also since Snake is paying.  
  
Snake: We're going to see a teen slasher movie.  
  
Raiden: Which one?  
  
Snake: Freddy vs. Jason  
  
Raiden: Cool with me.  
  
Otacon: Sure  
  
Colonial: I'm all for it yo.  
  
Everyone else: (Looks at Colonial)  
  
Colonial: Forget I said that.  
  
[After the movie]  
  
Snake: That was okay, not all that good.  
  
Raiden: Not enough blood spray.  
  
Otacon: You know you two still got to look for jobs.  
  
Snake: Why?  
  
Otacon: Because both of you quitted your other job.  
  
Raiden: We didn't quit.  
  
Otacon: Yes you did.  
  
Snake: No we didn't.  
  
Otacon: I heard you guys telling them you quit over the phone.  
  
Snake: Well actually we were.  
  
Raiden: I just remember I have to go home and clean my room.  
  
Snake: And I have to wash my clothes. (Runs away)  
  
Raiden: Yeah that too bye. (Runs away)  
  
Naomi: Wait a minute do they know how to wash clothes?  
  
Otacon: No they don't.  
  
[At the laundry room in the apartment]  
  
Snake: Damn that's a long title.  
  
Raiden: I know he didn't have to say in the apartment too. Snake do you know how to do laundry.  
  
Snake: Nope Meryl did the laundry for me do you?  
  
Raiden: Nope Rose usually did the laundry for me too.  
  
Snake: Well I guess we can try or something.  
  
Raiden: You sure something crazy won't happen.  
  
Snake: Nope  
  
Raiden: Cool  
  
Snake: All right the first thing we do is put the clothes in the machine.  
  
Raiden: All of them?  
  
Snake: Yeah we'll just mix everything together.  
  
Raiden: All right next lets add the detergent. How much should we add?  
  
Snake: Seems like a pretty small box add the whole thing.  
  
Raiden: Okay done how do we turn it on?  
  
Snake: I don't know I haven't figure out that part yet.  
  
Raiden: should we ask someone?  
  
Snake: Yeah lets go ask our neighbor. (Knocks on neighbor's door)  
  
Fortune: What is it? Wait its you two.  
  
Raiden: You and Dead Cell are our neighbor.  
  
Fortune: Yes Raiden  
  
Snake: And she knows your name too.  
  
Fortune: Also I'm about to kill both of you. (Gets rail gun)  
  
Snake: Wait we just want to ask you something.  
  
Fortune: What?  
  
Raiden: Will you tell us how to turn on the washing machine?  
  
Fortune: Never  
  
Snake: Raiden this is the part where we run.  
  
Fortune: No this is the part where you stand still while I blow your limbs off.  
  
Raiden: Oh s**t. (Runs away beside Snake)  
  
Fortune: Get back here.  
  
Raiden: Where are we going to go?  
  
Snake: I don't know but I got an idea.  
  
Raiden: What is it?  
  
Snake: Well we go outside then.  
  
*-*  
  
A/N: What is Snake's plan? Guess what it is and do the next best thing and REVIEW!!! 


	4. Snake's plan

A/N: Thanks for all that reviewed my story. Also, I take anonymous reviews. (Forgot to turn off the don't take anonymous reviews function)  
  
Apartment Living Chapter4  
  
*-*  
  
Raiden: Snake what is your plan?  
  
Snake: What was the last thing I said in the last chapter?  
  
Raiden: You said we go outside and that's it.  
  
Snake: Right now I remember then we get a car and run her over since bullets don't work on her.  
  
Raiden: The bullets didn't work because she had a machine on her hip.  
  
Snake: I know but then she showed us she's the real deal. Cool I just rhymed.  
  
Raiden: Yeah I remember now.  
  
Snake: Why didn't you remember before?  
  
Raiden: Because I hit my head when fell off of Arsenal Gear then all of sudden I knew how to use the blade better and faster.  
  
Snake: That would make sense.  
  
Raiden: Snake I remember that we don't have a car.  
  
Snake: Damn that's right we don't, but we got something better. Lets go she found us again.  
  
Fortune: Get back here so I can blow off your arms and legs so you can really be snakes.  
  
[Outside]  
  
Raiden: Where did you get this?  
  
Snake: Well I make sure we steal one before you destroyed them all.  
  
Raiden: So we're going to step on her.  
  
Snake: Yep. (Gets inside Metal Gear Ray)  
  
Raiden: Cool. (Gets inside Metal Gear Ray)  
  
Snake: Hey Fortune you better start running.  
  
Fortune: Why I can deflect bullets and missiles you idiots.  
  
Snake: (Blows up the rail gun)  
  
Fortune: I should have seen that coming. (runs away)  
  
Snake: Yeah that's right you better run away.  
  
Raiden: If Fortune is our neighbor then Vamp and Fatman would be our neighbors too.  
  
Snake: Oh s**t that's right. Well will deal with it later. We got to find out how to turn on the washing machine.  
  
Raiden: I'm afraid to ask our other neighbor.  
  
Snake: Lets ask Olga.  
  
Raiden: You sure she'll tell us.  
  
Snake: Yeah she's on our side.  
  
[Where Olga is]  
  
Snake: Olga we need to ask you something.  
  
Olga: All right what is it?  
  
Snake: We need your help on how to turn the washing machine.  
  
Olga: You pull the knob as your turning.  
  
Snake/Raiden: Oh.  
  
Olga: And remember don't mix color clothes with white.  
  
Snake/Raiden: Oh. (Leaves)  
  
[Back at the laundry room]  
  
Snake: Ok there now we wait.  
  
Raiden: So what do we do now.  
  
Snake: Lets get our guns just in case we run into someone else  
  
[At the room]  
  
Snake: Where are they?  
  
Raiden: Where are what?  
  
Snake: They can't be missing I know there here.  
  
Raiden: Snake what are you talking about?  
  
Snake: My cigarettes I can't find them.  
  
Raiden: Here they are.  
  
Snake: Thank you you're a life saver.  
  
Raiden: Hey there is something wrong with toilet.  
  
Snake: Otacon probably broke it by using it took much. I told him to stop punishing the toilet, but he wouldn't listen.  
  
Raiden: Lets go see the landlord.  
  
5 minutes later  
  
Snake: (knocking on the door) landlady get your ass out here.  
  
??: I'm not a landlady, I'm the landlord. (answers the door)  
  
Raiden: (Shocked) nooooooooooo not you.  
  
Solidus: Jack its you.  
  
Raiden: I rather be called Raiden. Only Rose gets to call me Jack.  
  
Solid: (Snickering) Jack  
  
Raiden: Shut up David  
  
Snake: Don't ever call me that in public!!!  
  
Solidus: What do you two want?  
  
Snake: Our toilet is broke.  
  
Solidus: Well that's not my problem. (Closes the door)  
  
Raiden: You lazy no-good bum get your ass out here and fix our toilet.  
  
Solidus: Tell it to someone who cares.  
  
Snake: Lets get Otacon he'll know what to do.  
  
*-*  
  
A/N: Snake and Raiden now have to make Solidus fix their toilet. See how they will fix their problem in the next chapter.  
  
NOW REVIEW 


	5. Another run in with trouble

A/N: Wow thanks for all the reviews and I know I had a lot of errors in my first chapter sorry about that. Just correct me anytime. So, I hope you like this chapter and Fortune will be back in this chapter.  
  
Apartment Living Chapter5  
  
*-*  
  
Snake: Raiden where was the last time we saw Otacon?  
  
Raiden: In the movies I think.  
  
Snake: Well he's probably not there anymore.  
  
Raiden: I wouldn't.  
  
Snake: (Gets an idea) Raiden if you were Otacon where would you be?  
  
Raiden: Why would I be Otacon? I like being myself.  
  
Snake: Raiden just answer the question.  
  
Raiden: I don't know Best Buy or some store that sells DVD's.  
  
??: I got a question. What do you call a large amount of riches?  
  
Raiden: (Looks behind him) Fortune!!!!  
  
Fortune: Actually I was going for Inheritance.  
  
Snake: I was going for treasure.  
  
Raiden: No, Snake its Fortune.  
  
Snake: Didn't we destroy your rail gun?  
  
Fortune: Well I got fifty more of them.  
  
Raiden: How?  
  
Fortune: I found this shop downtown that had a discount sell that still is going on.  
  
Snake: All right we'll go their bye.  
  
Fortune: Ok bye. Hey wait a minute you're tricking me and leave well it won't work cause when I'm done with you both of you won't have any legs.  
  
Raiden: Ahhhhhhh!!! (Runs away)  
  
Snake: Raiden don't run she's bluffing. It's not even real.  
  
Fortune: Oh yeah. (Blows up a light pole)  
  
Snake: (Puts on bandana and takes out assault rifle) Oh yeah I'm not afraid of you eat lead. (Starts shooting)  
  
5 minutes later  
  
(Bullets flies around Fortune)  
  
Fortune: You idiot bullets can't hurt me.  
  
??: But a Metal Gear Rex can.  
  
Snake: That better not be who I think it is.  
  
??: SNAAAAAAAAAAAAKE.  
  
Snake: Yep it's Liquid.  
  
Liquid: (Piloting a Metal Gear Rex) I came to get rid of you Snake. You have interfered with my plans for the last time Snake.  
  
Snake: I only interfered with your plans once get over it.  
  
Liquid: No I won't get over it.  
  
Fortune: Move damn it I'm going to kill Snake.  
  
Snake: For the last time I didn't kill your father.  
  
Fortune: I know but you interfered with my plans too.  
  
Snake: Oh come on now that's just stupid.  
  
Liquid: It's not stupid now shut up.  
  
Raiden: Actually it is if you think about it. (Piloting a Metal Gear Ray)  
  
Snake: Raiden it's about time you came.  
  
Raiden: I forgot where we parked it.  
  
Liquid: Hey where the hell did you get that?  
  
Raiden: I found it.  
  
Liquid: It doesn't matter everyone knows a rex is stronger than ray.  
  
Raiden: No it's not.  
  
Liquid: Yes it is.  
  
Raiden: Prove it then since you like to talk.  
  
Snake: Raiden we don't have time for this.  
  
Raiden: Can't we just have a Metal Gear fight?  
  
Snake: All right as long as I'm first.  
  
Raiden: Ok.  
  
(Snake gets inside Metal Gear Ray)  
  
Liquid: SNAAAAAAAAAAKE. Prepare to lose Snake with your friend whatever his name is. SNAAAAAAAAAKE!!!  
  
Snake: Stop yelling my name it's annoying.  
  
Liquid: Too bad this will be the last time you will hear it SNAAAAAAAAAAKE!!!  
  
Snake: DAMN IT STOP that's annoying.  
  
*-*  
  
A/N: Who will win the Metal Gear fight Rex or Ray you decide. Read and Review please. 


	6. Snake's insults

A/N: I've been busy as hell. It's hard to keep up though so I hope you like the chapter. For those who don't know I'm a guy.  
  
Apartment Living  
  
Chapter6  
  
*-*  
  
Snake: Lets go Liquid.  
  
(Metal Gear Ray stops)  
  
Liquid: Victory is mine Snaaaaaaaaaaake. Well look who's the powerful one now Snake and to think I didn't even have to fire. Wait till I tell everyone Snaaaaaaaaaaake. (Leaves)  
  
Snake: Damn it I loss how the hell did this happen? Raiden did you fill the tank up?  
  
Raiden: Yes and no.  
  
Snake: Did you put gasoline in it?  
  
Raiden: Hell no gasoline is too expensive.  
  
Snake: Gasoline is not expensive.  
  
Raiden: Yes it is.  
  
Snake: How much did it cost?  
  
Raiden: Well since this is 10 times bigger then a car it'll cause $120.  
  
Snake: That's not expensive you stupid tard and what did you put in here?  
  
Raiden: The next best thing.  
  
Snake: And what's that?  
  
Raiden: Water.  
  
Snake: It only works for the cannon you idiot. Thanks to you I loss.  
  
Raiden: Your welcome.  
  
Snake: (Smacks Raiden upside his head) I'm going to go upside your head with a big stick later.  
  
Raiden: It's not my fault Liquid is better then you.  
  
Snake: I'm definitely going to go upside your head with a big stick now.  
  
Raiden: Or we can go to that sale Fortune was talking about.  
  
Snake: All right but I'm still going to hurt you.  
  
Raiden: Don't blame me cause you suck.  
  
Snake: Raiden I'm about to beat you like the rookie.  
  
{At the weapons store}  
  
Raiden: Wow this place has everything.  
  
Snake: Yeah I would shop in here but this place is expensive. Raiden contact Otacon and tell him where we are.  
  
Raiden: I can't.  
  
Snake: Why?  
  
Raiden: Because I don't remember what the frequency is.  
  
Snake: How can you not remember it's stored in the codec for calling later!  
  
Raiden: Well you remember when I fell on my head in Metal Gear Solid 2  
  
Snake: No I don't I skipped all the cut scenes.  
  
[Flash.  
  
Snake: Hold it wait a minute don't do a flashback just tell me what happen.  
  
Raiden: Well you remember when in Metal Gear Solid 2. Solidus and I was on top of Arsenal Gear until it ran into that building, then we fell off.  
  
Snake: Oh I remember that you did fell on your head. (Thinking) Hahahahahahahahahaha he fell on his head. I got to look at the cut scenes tonight.  
  
Raiden: That's why I forgot some things that had happen that day.  
  
Snake: Well forget about it cause I got his credit card anyway.  
  
Raiden: He has a credit card?  
  
Snake: Yeah and he's been holding out on us. (Gasps)  
  
Raiden: What is it?  
  
Snake: Look  
  
Raiden: It's just a box.  
  
Snake: Not any box it's the Cube 5000.  
  
Raiden: Boxes have names.  
  
Snake: Yes they have names you tard.  
  
Raiden: Why do you keep calling me a tard and what does it mean?  
  
Snake: Its like a retard accept you're a tard already.  
  
Raiden: That's stupid.  
  
Snake: Shut up you tard. I got to have this box it's perfect.  
  
Raiden: And it's cost $5,000. No wonder it's called the Cube 5000.  
  
Snake: Who cares I'm getting it.  
  
Raiden: But what will Otacon say.  
  
Snake: Who cares hippie I'm getting this box.  
  
Raiden: What's so special about it.  
  
Snake: Well.  
  
A/N: Found out in the next chapter why the box is so special to Snake. 


	7. A new box

A/N: I'm sorry that I've been gone for so long I know y'all wanted more so here it is.  
  
Apartment Living  
  
Chapter7  
  
Raiden: Snake it's just a box they're just a big piece of cardboard.  
  
Snake: And your blades our just a waste of metal.  
  
Raiden: Don't make fun of my blades they're more then just a piece of metal.  
  
Snake: All right then shut up.  
  
Raiden: You sure you want to charge the box to Otacon's credit card.  
  
Snake: No, because a box like this don't deserve to be charged on a credit card. It needs to be pay out in cash.  
  
Raiden: But do you have the money for the box.  
  
Snake: Ah s**t I don't have any money on me right now.  
  
Raiden: And I just don't use my pockets.  
  
Snake: You don't use your pockets.  
  
Raiden: Nope I don't think they're important.  
  
Snake: Raiden you scare me sometimes.  
  
Raiden: Your welcome.  
  
Snake: (Edges away slowly) I want this box but someone else might buy it.  
  
Raiden: See if you can reserve it.  
  
Snake: Now you're using your brain. Wait you have a brain. I have to write this down. (Writes down note in notepad) Aright lets go. (Walks to register)  
  
Guy1: How can I help you?  
  
Snake: Can I reserve this box?  
  
Guy1: Sure when do you want it back?  
  
Snake: Today.  
  
Guy1: Why just buy it now.  
  
Snake: I have to run home and get more money.  
  
Guy1: But you don't have to reserve it cause it'll still be here.  
  
Snake: That's what you think.  
  
Guy1: But it's just a box.  
  
Snake: Just a box! Without boxes I couldn't of hid from the soldiers and prevent the nuclear strike.  
  
Guy1: Huh?  
  
Snake: Nothing you wouldn't understand.  
  
Guy1: Don't worry it'll still be here when you return.  
  
Snake: You sure.  
  
Guy1: Yes.  
  
Snake: If it isn't I'll find you cause I know where you work at and I can stay in one spot of days.  
  
Guy1: Know what just take the box and your friend can have the blade for free.  
  
Snake: Really.  
  
Guy1: Yes just leave.  
  
Snake: Good.  
  
(Later on that day)  
  
Snake: Hey Otacon look at my new box.  
  
Otacon: Did you pay for that one?  
  
Snake: Nope got it for free.  
  
Otacon: Snake did you use the "I will find you cause I know where you work at and I can stay in spot for days" line.  
  
Snake: Uh maybe.  
  
Otacon: Snake you can't keep threatening people.  
  
Snake: Sure I can. But, did you know that Raiden has a brain.  
  
Otacon: Of course Raiden has a brain.  
  
Snake: But did you know that he sounded smart.  
  
Otacon: Of course Raiden can sound. (Pauses) Well that's new.  
  
Snake: I know and I wrote it down to remember the moment.  
  
Otacon: Does this mean that Raiden could be a little smarter?  
  
Snake: Maybe but we're going have to teach him to use his pockets.  
  
Otacon: What?  
  
Snake: He says he don't use his pockets.  
  
Otacon: That's weird.  
  
Snake: Yeah I'm still surprise that he don't cut him self when use those blades.  
  
Otacon: Snake what do you want to do today.  
  
Snake: Well I'm thinking of going home and watch some bad puns.  
  
Otacon: Snake you have to do better then that. You don't even train any more.  
  
Snake: Hey I'm no rookie from digital age.  
  
Raiden: Yeah  
  
Otacon: Huh?  
  
Snake: Oh yeah Raiden responds to the digital age thing.  
  
Otacon: ???  
  
Raiden: So what's on today's agenda?  
  
Snake: That's what we're trying to figure out  
  
Raiden: Well how about a good old game of break Otacon's stuff.  
  
Otacon: What?  
  
Snake: Ha he's kidding I guess his brain went off again.  
  
Otacon: Hmm.  
  
Raiden: Let's go to the park.  
  
Snake: We're already in the park.  
  
Raiden: Wow we got here fast.  
  
Snake&Otacon: (Shakes head)  
  
Otacon: What are we going to do with you?  
  
Snake: We're not getting rid of him cause I'm still going to train him.  
  
Otacon: Well now we just need to find something to do.  
  
A/N: What will Snake, Otacon, and Raiden to pass up time and is Raiden smarter then he actually is? Find out in the next chapter.  
  
R&R 


	8. Raiden's intelligence

Apartment Living

Ch.8

A/N: Sorry I was gone for a long ass time now that school is over i'm bored and have a lot of free time so I guess I will do this for now on.

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Previous chapter, Oracon and Snake decides to conduct tests to found out smart Raiden really is.

Snake: So what kind of tests are these?

Otacon: They're just simple intelligence tests to see what type of things he know.

Snake: Does one of the test determines if he know WHAT A DAMN GAS TANK LOOKS LIKE!

Raiden: Look I'm sorry I got it confused with the water cannon.

Snake: How can get it confused when there is a icon of a gas pump on the cover.

Raiden: I thought it was a water hose.

Snake: A water hose! Because of you I'm the joke of the town.

Otacon: Snake, people have probably stop talking about it.

(Liquids comes out of nowhere in a Metal Gear Ray)

Liquid: Snaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaakkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkeeeeeeeeeee.

Snake: Not now

Liquid: Normally Snake I would take the time to destroy you but I'm just going to ridicule you.

Snake: You probably can't even spell ridicule.

Liquid: Oh yeah, r i... uhhh

Snake: (Grins)

Liquid: Shut up, (runs away)

Snake: Thats one thing about liquid, he could never spell even when we was young.

Flashback

Young Snake: You're not going to win you stink at spelling.

Young Liquid: We'll see who stinks at spelling when I win.

Teacher: Ok spell chair.

Young Liquid: Uhhh, definition.

Teacher: An object you sit in.

Young Liquid: Can you use it in a sentence.

Teacher: The teacher sat in her chair.

Young Liquid: Country of origin

Teacher: Look kid it's just chair now spell the damn word.

Young Liquid: Back off bitch.

Teacher: What did you just say.

Young Liquid: Nothing, chair c h a

(Buzzer rings)

Flashback ends

Snake: And then there are times where he will go ballistic. Remember when he had Metal Gear Rex.

Otacon: Yeah I remember that.

Raiden: Yeah me too.

Snake: Shut up you wasn't there.

Flashback

Liquid: Now that I have Metal Gear, there's nothing you can do to stop me.

Snake: At least I can spell Metal Gear.

Liquid: So can I, M e t a l G a e r

Genome Soldiers: (Collapse in laughter)

Snake: (Laughs at Liquid)

Liquid: SNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE, YOU HAVE EMBARRASSED ME FOR THE LAST TIME!

(Later on)

Snake: I think we lost him.

Otacon: Snake, look behind you.

Liquid: (Closing up from behind in jeep), Snaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaake, I'll get you for this.

Snake: Ahhhhhh crap

Flashbacks end

Otacon: Well I got Raiden's test results back during the flashback.

Snake: Ok then, how dumb is he.

Otacon: Snake these tests are to show how smart Raiden is. (Reads results) And apparently he is average.

Snake: Or pretty much too dumb to operate machines.

Otacon: Well lets put it like this he's kind of close to being as smart as you.

Snake: Yeah by a mile.

Otacon: Well atleast he's not a moron.

Snake: Well he's not a complete moron, but still an idiot.

Raiden: You're acting like I haven't don't it before.

Snake: What do you mean before?

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A/N: This chapter may be short and not that funny but I'm getting used to do this again so complain all you want I don't care. 


	9. What's the deal with Superman

Apartment Living

Chapter 9

A/N: I've decided to start writing again to pass up the time since some of my friends are in summer school. Also, I've decided to see how long I can go with this story and I will actually check for errors now, so no more grammar errors or spelling unless it's Liquid spelling the word.

Raiden: Remember when I was running around naked in Asenal Gear.

Snake: Damn it Raiden, I finally forget about that moment and you had to remind me.

Raiden: Well I decided to cover myself up with a cardbox I found, but it had these huge red plastic containers in them, so I just dumped them in some random place. But the containers spilled and whatever was in it stinked.

Otacon: Raiden those containers were filled gasoline and I'm guess they were used for the fueling up the Metal Gear Rays.

Snake: Wait a minute you wasted all of the fuel for the Metal Gear Rays.

Raiden: I did?

Snake: Nevermind, we'll just pretend you knew what you were doing.

Otacon: Well that might explained why we never saw every Metal Gear Ray that was stored.

Snake: Whatever I'm going home before Liquid wakes up. He's been sitting in that Metal Gear for awhile waiting to attack us.

Liquid: (sleeping in Metal Gear)

(Behind Metal Gear is a line of cars waiting to pass)

Driver 1: Come on I've been waiting for twenty minutes. It's not even a car yet it's still on the street what the hell man.

Driver 2: Dude just drive around it geez.

Driver 1: Fine, (As he drives in the opposite lane a city bus comes in an plows him off the road)

Solidus: You see I told you I can drive a bus just fine. Even with one eye.

Driver 2: (witnessing what the events that just happened), nevermind I'll just wait.

Back at the apartment

Raiden: (looking out of the window), whoa did anyone just see that bus hit the car.

Snake: (looking out of the window), yeah that car is totaled, but why was the bus driver wearing an eye patch?

Raiden: For style.

Snake: No one wears an eye patch for style.

Raiden: Just imagine how you would look with an eye patch.

Snake: (thinks of an image of Big Boss from MGS 3), nope wouldn't work.

Raiden: Where is Otacon?

Snake: He went to go see that new Superman movie, I kept telling him that it's not worth it.

Raiden: Hey Snake I just thought of something.

Snake: (thinking to himself, oh no everytime he thinks about something it's the most random and stupid thing I ever heard of. I should get my tape recorder and add it to my collection), what is it?

Raiden: If Superman doesn't wear a mask, how come everyone still doesn't know his identity if he goes to work? He doesn't change anything all he does is put on some glasses and thats it.

Snake: (shocked), wow that has got to be the most smartest thing you ever asked me and I normally record everything you ask me.

Raiden: See I'm not an idiot or moron like you always say.

Snake: No I say you are a complete idiot or moron. You always have to stress on the complete part. Also, I don't know how to answer your question we'll just have to wait until Otacon gets back.

Raiden: I wonder how stupid Superman's fellow employees are to not know they are working with beside him.

Snake: As stupid as you told me that story.

Raiden: That was such a good story.

Snake: It had no point to it. It wasn't even a story.

Flashback

Raiden: Snake I got to tell you this story.

Snake: Hold on. (turns on tape recorder)

Raiden: Snake one time I was at this house, there was this guy, this girl was like (in a high pitch voice) daaaaaaaaavvvvvvvvvveeeeeee (in his normal voice) then I found five dollars.

Snake: (speechless)

Raiden: Cool huh.

A/N: Well that's another attempt at writing I hope I don't alot of reviews saying how much this chapter sucks. But hey I tried, I'm thinking about changing the format.


End file.
